On Dating

Dating sucks.  I don't know anyone that truly enjoys dating.  I can't speak for everyone, but this is typically how it goes.  You use an app to meet someone.  You text on the app for a few days.  You then exchange numbers.  You get along great virtually.  You exchange a few photos.  You make plans to go out.  You meet up.  You have a decent time but don't feel that spark.  You never hear from that person again.  You're actually okay with it.

On the rare occasion that I found someone with whom I feel a connection, I would usually still never hear from them again.  They would ghost on me.  There is the occasional mature individual who would let me know the feelings weren't mutual and that he wasn't interested in going out again.  While those messages are disappointing, I respect them a lot for having the ability to send them in the first place.  It is easy for folks who have grown up in the digital dating age to block a number and leave the person wondering what happened.  I am a big boy and fully understand that dating must be consensual otherwise it won't work (and is sort of illegal...).  

But then there is the even rarer occurrence when I go out with someone and they are equally as interested in me.  I can count on one hand the number of times that has happened.  There was S., there was the Real Estate Agent, there was the Editor, and now there is the Teacher.  Those people scare me more than anything.  The potential for compatibility is one of the most terrifying things I have ever encountered in my adult dating life.  It is terrifying mostly because I am convinced it won't work out.  And it isn't so much the possibility of the relationship that scares me but the inevitable disappointment I will feel when it eventually doesn't work out.

I am currently seeing the Teacher.  We met on an app.  We texted on the app for a few days.  We exchanged numbers.  We texted.  We sent each other pictures.  We went on a first date.  And I heard from him.

Our first date was quite fun.  He lives decently far outside of Washington, D.C. so I drove out to meet him.  I picked him up at his house and we went to look at Christmas lights.  We spent about an hour and a half in my car listening to carols, talking and looking at lights.  After that we went to the grocery store, picked up some wine and went back to his house where we ordered pizza and drank said wine.  It was late so I spent the night.  The next morning we woke up and he told me he needed to take his car into the shop.  I said I stick around and keep him company while the car was being worked on.  He said he would like that.  I was floored. 

I am doing my best not to make my pessimism a self fulfilling prophecy.  But looking at it objectively, he is much more attractive than I am.  He is fit, toned, blonde and tall.  He is the type that will turn heads when he walks into a bar.  He is witty, sarcastic, well adjusted, smart and kind.  He is also younger than I am by about three years.  I am waiting for him to understand he can find a guy that is better looking, a guy who makes more money than I do, a guy who he lusts after.  He hasn't sent me that message.  He hasn't stopped talking to me.  He hasn't ghosted.  He has said he wants to hang out again.  

It doesn't seem real.  It doesn't seem like this is something that happens to me.  He is what I am hoping for.  I know it is early on in getting to know him, but he checks off most of my boxes.  We have a great time together.  We'll see if it keeps going.